Hijacking this to say-- this was beautiful, such an intense and satisfying introspection.
Although, the hopelessness in this: "As for depression, it’s the chasm that exists between. You build your bridge, don’t look down, and pray it never swallows you, because if it does, you’ll fall forever in that bottomless gulf, and die without ever landing."
I know you don't believe it's impossible to climb out of depression... so I guess I wish there had been something at least a little hopeful to round that out.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you found my Dad's story moving.
Like a lot of things with mental illness, I think the truth about whether depression is beatable or not is more complicated than many people's narratives let it be. It's proven that depression is cased by a combination of environmental and chemical factors, but who can say where the one begins, and the other ends?
When I was growing up, my parents were really worried about me inheriting my Dad's disease. Then, once I hit my early 20s, and started doing a bunch of things that would have been impossible for my Dad--traveling, moving abroad, earning a living as a writer, having lots of friends and girlfriends, being generally extroverted and having a good career--they started referring to me as having "dodged my Dad's genetic bullet."
But I live every day with depression. I suffer from it enough to have a regular prescription of Zoloft, and have filled out more than a handful of single-digit scoring depression screening tests over the years. There have been entire months where I have felt utterly hopeless, looking in the mirror and hating what I see.How much did I dodge a genetic bullet here? My depression is very real to me, and very hard for me to fight at times. At the same time, it's macho bullshit to say that I am "tougher" than my Dad, just because depression hasn't ruined my life. I think it's probably fairer to say that we're both right, and I'm not as depressed as my Dad, but I've also--with him as an example--set up much better habits for myself.
Treating depression isn't zero sum. You can't beat depression just by taking pills, but nor can you beat it just by riding bikes, doing yoga, or having a balanced life. You have to try everything, and maybe in trying everything, you'll find what works for you. So I think the most hope I can give on this question is this: if your depression is beatable, you can beat it. But was my Dad's depression beatable? I don't think so.
This is incredibly beautiful. I don't like to think of things as unbeatable, but I prefer to think of them as quests that the hero can't be expected to complete presently. In video games it's not at all uncommon to encounter obstacles early in the game that require items or abilities from later in the game to overcome - if later in the game is 75 years from now, there's a lot of time you have to play without getting at whatever is behind that special-item-only breakable wall.
One of my semi-secrets is that my family's struggles with Depression led me to study Neuroscience in college after almost completing a degree in German Literature. I am literally the only one of 5 siblings and my mother not to be on depression medication for at least some period of my life - I like to joke that I vampire-drained the happiness out of them and caught ADHD in doing so. I don't share that joke with them. My father is not the sort of person who would admit to depression ever, and I therefore don't know his feelings on the subject.
In other words, I quit my other program to search for the silver bullet. I knew from the start that the silver bullet is as great a fantasy as the werewolf itself, but I mourn so much for those who experience little to no improvement from our current medicines - these are the weapons I would arm people with as they fight their inner demons, no guarantee of success, but no small boon in their battle, either! Yet some people's demons clearly experience as much effect from my offered armaments as they would from a giant tickling feather - and it is to their especial detriment, because others, even doctors, seldom have understanding of their particular demon's resistance to their usual solid steel.
Someday, that holy mystery your dad recited about the brain will be as much as thing of the past as geocentrism, or so I tell myself, and so I hope, but for now, all I can do is keep fighting, I hope you're able to continue your fight with at least moderate success, as well. Of note, in my judgment, which I know is not worth much - what a laugh after all, a stranger's judgment on the internet - it seems to me that despite everything, you are doing a bang up job fighting your battle, and I hope it continues to go so well, with as few lost months and hopeless weeks or years as possible, and also, it seems to me that your Dad must have done a reasonably good job fighting his battles, as well, and I hope I am neither offensive nor cruel in saying so. It's just, it's always so difficult to judge someone, your mention about Bruce's friend who murdered his parents is quite excellent, because that question troubles and comforts many minds: Not only do I wish I were so much more, but what exactly would I be if I were so much less than I am? A murderer or serial killers? A bomber? An abusive spouse and parent? With great faith that we're not living up to our potential, staring down in the opposite direction of our potential can be harrowing but in its way, darkly comforting, even if its a sort of stupid comfort (at least, in my head and heart, I can't really claim it as a resounding accolade that "At least I wasn't a school shooter!" - yet sometimes, I just have to sit back and say it in my mind, and be thankful that I haven't gone to that extreme. It seems to me that your werewolf did a reasonable job of not eating you or your mom, even if he still wounded you with his claws over the course of his life, and I guess I wanted to offer his memory that praise).
Forgive my rambling diatribe, still lots of reflection to do on your piece, I hope you have a wonderful day. :)
Can someone explain the analog to digital thing he's talking about? Can digital software not reproduce any sounds his boards can make? If not doesn't he just lose all those sounds when he converts the sounds to a digital format, making it a mostly pointless exercise?
This is a weak metaphor, but a digital monitor can reproduce a fine work of art, but synthesizing (or modelling) the look and behavior of real oil paints digitally is a challenge.
Likewise, getting the algorithms just right and in the right orders and quantities to replicate everything analog modular synthesizers can do is very tricky, though theoretically possible.
As it turns out women have barely had any time at all being afforded the same privileges as men[0], and that's just the United States, there remain cultures that are extremely oppressive to women. It also turns out we still tell women from a young age that "they can't".[1] It also turns out there are a ton of biases pushing women out of STEM[2][3][4][5].
So when you cite evidence that says men are smarter than women conducted by men standing on the shoulders of a society built for men, you can't be shocked when people question it.
I understand that there are biases against women in our society, and I don't argue with that.
I argue that there are biological differences between men and women, and these differences are causing different representation in STEM fields.
I would also say that today, we're living in the most equal opportunity society than ever before. Let the free market sort itself out. If you try to artificially increase the proportion of women in STEM fields, you will decrease the quality of engineers. I'm sorry, but that's how it is.
> So when you cite evidence that says men are smarter than women conducted by men standing on the shoulders of a society built for men, you can't be shocked when people question it.
So, did they use a flawed methodology? Were these studies sexist? Could you point in which way these studies are sexist? Do you disagree that males often have higher variance in different traits in many species? Do you disagree that men have higher variance in IQ?
> I argue that there are biological differences between men and women, and these differences are causing different representation in STEM fields.
I argue that you don't actually have any reason to believe that the differences are biological instead of social. Certainly, while extremely interesting (I mean that. Not sarcasm.), none of your links demonstrate it. Your links claim to show a difference, but they do not claim to explain the cause of said difference.
> I would also say that today, we're living in the most equal opportunity society than ever before.
You could say all kinds of things and more. But, and I'm not agreeing here that it is actually true, because I'm not fully convinced that it is, even if it _is_ true, being better-than isn't the same as being good.
> Let the free market sort itself out.
Only a properly regulated market ever sorts itself out. Otherwise you end up with natural monopolies, because barriers to entry are historically compounded. This has always been true of marketplaces.
> So, did they use a flawed methodology? Were these studies sexist?
Well, one flaw is that your conclusions don't follow from the studies.
> I argue that you don't actually have any reason to believe that the differences are biological instead of social.
I could provide studies on how IQ development is set by genetics and very early childhood. So yes, I do have a reason to believe IQ is biological.
> Only a properly regulated market ever sorts itself out.
This is true, but "we must hire women otherwise people think we're sexist" is not a properly regulated market.
> Well, one flaw is that your conclusions don't follow from the studies.
But my conclusions do follow from studies. If you take top 2% of people by IQ from a random population sample, you expect to have more men. The same would be true if you took the bottom 2%, but that doesn't interest anyone.
Well I could provide a tortoise that speaks seven different languages. Saying what you could provide is fairly bad form.
> and very early childhood.
Wait, how early? Which part of childhood is the genetic part? Heck, what about the potential for non-uniform distribution of teratogens? Has that even been studied?
> but "we must hire women otherwise people think we're sexist" is not a properly regulated market
"We should prefer to choose an equally qualified woman because not only is she presently equally qualified, but she has achieved being equally qualified in an environment that in-many-small-ways-collectively-and-constantly tries to prevent it" is, though. There is no shortage of well-qualified individuals in the world. And if you don't agree, then we must first begin another conversation on what exactly you think qualifies someone to develop software.
> But my conclusions do follow from studies.
They certainly don't follow from the ones you linked, even though you said they would. I know that because I read the studies you linked. So maybe these other ones also don't support your conclusions any better?
> If you take top 2% of people by IQ from a random population sample, you expect to have more men.
Maybe. Now tell me the part of the study that says why. And further tell me the part that indicates a positive correlation with success in computer software production. And then tell me the part that indicates positive correlation with representation in the field. And then tell me the part that indicates...heck, maybe that indicates that g is even a useful measurement to begin with.
Because you said, and I quote, "[biological] differences are causing different representation in STEM fields", which is an unsupported conclusion.
Disclaimer: I work for Garmin, but not on smart watches.
This is exactly what I came here to say. On top of that I'm not sure how the data from the second chart got put together? It just says that the data came from their own site and IDC. IDC's report for the 3rd quarter puts three competitors above Apple in terms of market share, YOY growth, and unit sales.[1]
"Xiaomi's new Mi Band includes heart rate tracking and is priced well below any competition, making it more suitable for impulse buying than any other fitness band. Despite its worldwide growth in 3Q16, the company managed to lose market share as almost every other vendor outpaced its growth. Xiaomi, across all business lines, continues to struggle to gain any significant traction outside its home country of China."
Problem with Xiaomi have been more supply side than demand side. I know because I tried to buy MiBand 2 when it originally came out and for weeks most vendors were sold out. It's possible that Xiaomi is having trouble keeping up the manufacturing volumes at the low price point they've entered the market.
The signup page has a steep price to pay. Maybe just setup the login and then ask for profile information once users are in?
Asking for a specific date of when someone started writing is a little daunting. Maybe just have a year? Not sure what the information is for.
Also the terms of service I'm agreeing to leads to a 404 ;)
I've recently gotten in to writing some poetry so I'm super interested in this project! I hope you guys can really get this to kick off.
edit: I would add, you need a real landing page. Something that has examples of features or results of collaboration. This is pretty similar although a microcosm of HitRecord, so maybe check that out for some inspiration.
Thanks for the feedback, we want the site/app to have an exclusivity feel to it, hence no landing page, but a description of what the site is about is underway
I get the appeal of that. I wonder though if it make sense for a website built on collaboration to be exclusive? Not that those things are mutually exclusive, but it's similar to the right click to steal issue. If people want to steal something they will, so it's not worth sacrificing the user experience here (probably); similarly, if the exclusive feel prevents people from signing up there will be less collaboration.
I guess it partly comes down to what is meant by collaboration. Is it writing together? Is it just feedback like comments or Genius style annotations? I really like the idea of either. These questions and others the users had here could be answered on the landing page. If you guys are interested in more feedback as you progress feel free to hit me up!
>The morality in America has slipped precipitously since our heyday as a nation in the 1950s.
Yea, the 1950's were really America's heyday (/s), while the rest of the world was blown up. I wonder if people in the 1920's were sipping on illegal booze at Gadsby's party thinking "man, the morality in america sure has taken a dive since the gilded age". Is your view so skewed by the media portrayal of the Jones' and white picket fences that you think America was some bastion of morality then? The morals established then were that woman couldn't own credit cards unless their husbands deemed it so, gays should be sent to sanitoriums to prevent the spread of their disease by showing nude pictures to other boys (Lavender Scare anyone?); it took 10+ years for some states to comply with Brown v The Board of Education. So how about you get your kids a history book and let them read that so they don't have to see the world through rose colored bigoted glasses.
edit. The more I think about this the more upset I am. HUAC, being able to LEGALLY beat your wife, this isn't even touching on African-American trials of the time. America was a fucking mess in the 1950's.
But I would say this falls under "evidence of some interesting new phenomenon". News pieces with large audiences being largely edited to deliver a different message after they've "gone viral" is similar to a high traffic website being hacked to deliver a message about something else.
I agree that the topic you mention is interesting, but the article as posted is practically guaranteed to devolve into political discussion rather than a discussion about the point you bring up.
A better article, IMO, would have noted that the NYT does this consistently and has done so in a way that has harmed all candidates, not to mention non presidential conversation. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9870347 for another example of this practice.
Although, the hopelessness in this: "As for depression, it’s the chasm that exists between. You build your bridge, don’t look down, and pray it never swallows you, because if it does, you’ll fall forever in that bottomless gulf, and die without ever landing."
I know you don't believe it's impossible to climb out of depression... so I guess I wish there had been something at least a little hopeful to round that out.