After reading your many comments in this thread, I honestly hope you *did* come across my resume and silently "disqualify" me. Sounds like it saved me from a miserable job working for a toxic narcissist of a manager.

You seem to have an enormous chip on your shoulder towards FAANG companies. Did you work for one and fail spectacularly, or did you just get rejected a bunch of times?

Bingo. Mix of "offer in hand", "offer coming Monday-ish", and "finishing interview loops"

Also, who says I'm a "he"? FAANG companies have smart female engineers too (not nearly enough, but we're working on it)

I apologize, "he" was for most of American English's history the default pronoun when gender was not known. I'm still working on using "they" instead, but I occasionally slip up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_neutrality_in_English

> Also, who says I'm a "he"?

Assuming you're saying this as a way to effectively double the pool of people your throwaway comes from, adding a bit to the entropy. Adding more writing style sample, and on another topic, probably does more to identify you than the extra bit of entropy reduced.