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The wedding industry is a giant racket. It's so hard not to get ripped off when trying to plan for a wedding.


The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything.

Take wedding dresses. They were not always white. Brides bought expensive dresses, but they would expect to use them for many years to come. Even Kings and Queens would use their wedding clothes many times. The recent switch to white made them single-use garments. That freed them to become very expensive and elaborate.


That and there is a huge marketing effort aimed at girls of all ages telling them what a "dream wedding" should look like, and it's not a bunch of lawn chairs in your back yard and a potluck. They're also constantly reminded that the wedding is their day, nobody else should be telling them what it should look like.

The one good thing is that when people get divorced and remarried the second wedding is almost always a much smaller and more intimate affair. Nothing breaks the spell like living through planning and executing a "dream wedding".


> They're also constantly reminded that the wedding is their day, nobody else should be telling them what it should look like.

There is a special kind of (evil) genius in the advertising "Your wedding is your day, so let us tell you what you truly want, and don't let anyone else disagree." (It reminds me of the old "Distrust unsolicited advice. Except this time.")


One secret to getting lower prices is occasionally fibbing about the purpose or just not mentioning it. Tell the baker you need a beautiful... anniversary cake, or retirement cake, and stick the plastic people on top yourself. Immediately cheaper! Same with flowers -- you need a bouquet for... something else. Ok, not sure what. Renting a reception hall for a retirement party is cheaper than renting the same space for a wedding.

Of course, some people enjoy the ritual of the cake tasting and decoration decisions and etc.


> The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything.

I disagree that everyone needs these services, only that, as you say, many people expect to provide (or that their marrying friends will provide) these services. Weddings still can be private affairs, and associated gatherings can still be at family houses. (The bit about churches is outside an individual's control, I agree.) As yters commented (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18068728), some people's weddings are still quite affordable.


https://www.theknot.com/content/military-wedding-ceremony-an...

I've been to a couple of these. The costs are basically nil and you get some perks (honor guards with swords, flyovers etc) that trump any fancy destination wedding.


Wedding receptions have become an aspirational good. Like all other aspirational goods, people will climb as far up the ladder as they can manage.




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